THE AFRICAN PARENTING CHRONICLES

Hello...I hope you've been doing alright ❤

Well as promised, the awaited article is here

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NB: All the images and short clips are in courtesy of various meme lords.

THE AFRICAN PARENTING CHRONICLES.

Africa is practically a continent that is majorly known because of certain aspects that makes it stand out. The commonly known trait about it, is that it carries a total of 55 countries of which the entire race is of black people, hence the name Africa. Well this was not a history class lesson for my aim was to bring you closer to what my article is all about.

First, am an African child, and trust me am one proud lady. Am the eldest in a family of four, and all firstborns can help me relate that being the eldest child is one task that comes with responsibilities,priorities, privileges and the cherry on top beatings. Responsibility comes in immediately you become of age to take care of your siblings for they never believe in babysitters.

If they are about to go out for meetings or functions and kids aren't supposed to be brought along, you'll get to hear the mother saying,"Tumetoka na tukirudi nipate wenzako wameoga wamekula na msifungulie mtu mlango," ( we've gone out and once we back I want to find your siblings bathed, fed and open the door for no one). The problem comes in when your close friend comes for you to go out and play, but you can't leave the house so you resolve to making a deal with your little siblings so that they can not rat on you.

I remember once, my parents left us alone and I thought that it would be a perfect time for me to sneak out and go play " cha baba na cha mama." Little did I know that the 5 shilling coins I had used to bribe them with would land me into trouble. Later that day I got a beating of my life after my little sister decided to put me in the spotlight because I had slapped her. If it were another parent outside this continent, grounding, or sitting at the corner and think about what I had done would have been the best punishment, but that does not work here, for the adage spare the rod spoil the child works pretty well.

How did you manage to get your showers done? No matter how funny this statement sounds, the picture  can tell you what I mean. With African parents, there is no need for a hot bath tub or jacuzzi for you to have your bath. A bucket of water would be left the entire day out in the sun for it to get "warm", then your mother or elder sister comes and help you with it. This took place in broad daylight with your fellow friends watching or at times you find that your entire "crew" is out being bathed.

Our mothers are practically known for their answers that are just out of this world. Try asking any African mum a question that you very sure she'll give a positive response, hahahaha... You'll just end up regretting asking it in the first place. Just recently a calendar was bought and I being the nosy child in the house asked my mum,

Liz   : Maa, nihang wapi hii calendar?

Mum: Toka hapo nje kuna hanging line ianike hapo ikauke.

If it were you what response would you have given her? I still have not recovered from that.

I can assure you that nothing scares an African child more than taking home their school results and they've failed terribly. The parents can even bring up past mistakes to account for your bad grades in school.

At what age did you have your first phone? Back here you'll only own a phone once you done with highschool and they still monitor how you use it. In some houses am very sure that past 9pm no phone calls are allowed and past 11pm  no one should be on net surfing. Yes these are our parents.

 In the Western countries dating at a young age is not a big deal, for there parents support it, they take it as a part of their child's growing up phase. You'll get a parent  telling the boy who's coming to take their daughter out that he should bring her back by 11pm. Guys I repeat 11PM!!! whereas some of us we've got our curfew at 6pm.

Immediately a parent sees that their daughter has started showing noticeable physical changes, the "umbwa kali" warning is immediately displayed on their gate. This is to keep off "team mafisi" , but the funny thing is they are never scared of the so called dogs. So if the sign does not work, the mother starts warning the daughter to stay away from certain boys in the area labelling them as "idle village crooks." 

Once this threat is issued you better keep it in check or else proper spiritual sessions  will begin to do wonders. They will start taking you to counseling programs with the church elders and even the mum conducting prayers specifically for you thinking that you possessed with the evil spirit of boys following you around and maybe you and the boy are just close friends😂😂😂. I tell you once these mothers start getting spiritual...oooh yes it goes overboard.

All in all we love them and they sure do love us a lot, cause if they didn't they wouldn't have taken all these measures so as to keep us safe.

 They sure have weird ways of showing us their love for they rarely hug or give us forehead kisses, but their love can be seen whenever we ask for an item and they respond by saying that they have no cash on them but surprise you the next day with the same item you had asked for. Yes, they are our typical African parents but the bottom line is I would not dare trade mine for anything in this world.

Shout outs and lots of love to all the African parents out there ❤.

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